It was a song she used to know, a rhythm she used to tap against her thighs, and she could taste the words just on her tongue. Chastity didn’t move, only stood there in the dark and listened. Her voice was high and clear, hazel eyes lowered to her hands as she shifted the sheets, smoothing out the creases. It was a pretty picture, and she wanted to stand there and watch it as long as she could. She didn’t want to face the danger her life was in or the pain cutting into the skin. She didn’t want to think of the anger swelling underneath her ribs and the dull ache in her chest that told her this story would have the same ending it had before.
There were no happy endings in prison.
She wanted to listen though, and so she did. When the lyrics quieted into a murmur, Chastity slipped into their cell. “Nice voice,” she tossed at her cellmate. “Top bunks mines.”
“Well, thanks,” Penvrane shot her a grin. “I have a question…” She wringed her hands, bright eyes fixed hopefully on the redhead.
“Shoot,” Chastity scaled the steps into the top bunk, glancing down at the other.
“Are you actually not supposed to ask why someone ended up here? Like in the books?” The brunette asked, a hint of curiosity and skepticism drawn into her voice. Chastity could see Shakespeare on the nightstand they both shared. A romantic. Unsurprising, really.
Chastity weighed the question, amusement tugging up the corner of her lip. She lied down into her bed, pulling the sheet over her. She could hear Tatiana do the same underneath her. Head pillowed in her arms and eyes lifted up towards the ceiling, she asked Tatiana a question of her own. “Why did you end up here?”
“I guess that answers my question,” Tatiana laughed fleetingly. “I killed someone.” Chastity bit her lips, not entirely unsurprised. This wasn’t the sort of prison she could get into if she did something like breaking tax laws. She kind of wanted to ask more about it, but that wasn’t why Chastity had asked in the first place.
“Don’t tell anyone else that,” Chastity said simply, and this time she really did answer the woman’s question. There was silence for a moment, and Chastity turned on her side to fall asleep but then –
“What if I need to know why someone else got in here?” Tatiana’s voice was small. Chastity bit her lips, irritated. She had indubitably got herself in some sort of situation already, but she’d learn from her mistakes, too. They all did, after all.
“I’ll introduce you to someone tomorrow,” she said with an air of finality, and sleep took her.
–
It had been a long damned time since she had woken up the sun heating her skin, had to shield her eyes with her hand as she struggled out of the duvet with a content yawn. Now she woke up when the prison was at its coldest, when the sky must have still been dark outside (she didn’t know for sure) and the air as frigid as ice. Chastity shivered against the cold, slipping on her shoes and padding outside. It wasn’t time for morning inspections yet, but she wasn’t the only one to wake up this early.
There were people she needed to kill, but she wouldn’t do it yet. Not today and not tomorrow. She knew his shift was somewhere in this wing, and she knew she was right when she saw that irritating head of dark hair. “Will,” she used his first name rarely, but she did need a favor. He turned, a charming smile on the curve of his lips.
“Chaz,” he greeted, a tinge of wariness on his face.
“Can you take me to the isolation room?” She asked him, expression blank
There was a flicker of something on his face, and he pressed his lips together. Exhaling, he offered her a tense nod. “Yeah. Okay.” He whirled around, briskly striding towards the direction Chastity had come from. Chastity remained motionless for a split second. lips parted in a gape, before she caught up to him.
“Nothing you want?” She asked, finding it hard to believe. It was no easy task she had asked for him, and while Will did her small favors from time to time like getting her a cigarette, this was something else altogether.even if they were friends.
“I’ll owe you,” he said. “This is my way of paying you back.” She doesn’t like the way he implies he’ll woe her something in the future, and her heart pounded faster at the thought of Emrys, the warden and her old best friend. “But if you insist,” his lips slanted into a cheeky grin as he looked pointedly over to the cell where Tatiana lied asleep, “you can introduce me.”
“God, no,” she wrinkled her nose. “I already have enough of you as it is.”
He snickered before remarking, “she chose books. Only a few belongings, and she goes with a photo and books. Romances, too.” His voice turned thoughtful. “It’s stupid, but I’m curious.”
She snorted. “More like you fancy her.”
His face turned indignant. “I would not.” He tilted his head to the side carefully. “Just… interested.” Interested. There was too much softness playing into his smile for her to believe that. She bloody hoped it was just interest. Will Shimizuno was good for no one, especially the people he loved.
“We’re taking the longer way,” Chastity remarked.
He made a face. “Well, we’re not going that way.” He jerked his head at the turn they had just passed by. “My mom’s there.”
Chastity snickered. “Nice.”
He cursed. “I swear to God she never sleeps.”
“There are some things more interesting than sleep,” she smirked at him, taking pleasure when his face whitened and his nose wrinkled in disgust. He just shook his head forcefully. No matter what Will thought, Chastity had always thought his mother’s relationship was kind of beautiful. Their love could be read as easily as a book from their heated gazes, exchanged whispers and even the slightest touches. Still, it couldn’t have been easy for her son. Not that Chastity cared.
“Here you go,” he shook her out of her thoughts. “I’ll be back in fifteen. It’s up to you to do the next bit.”
He swiped the key card and pushed the door open for her, and she quietly slipped inside. That was more than she could ask for really. She edged along the large room, and she could hear the footsteps thudding in the dark.
“Do you hear something, Holkend?” Her heart pounded harder in her chest at the familiar name, and she pressed up against the wall. It occurred to her how easily she could die without anyone knowing. All to deliver a flower crown from a stupid boy who loved a girl he shouldn’t.
“I don’t think so,” an uncertain voice came back in response. It had to be Elliot from what she could gather of Eva’s descriptions. Once she thought she would have liked to meet him. Then her eyes widened as she realized she could kill him far more easily than he could kill her. Her hand groped in her pockets for a razor. It would be easier than trying to strangle him. Then she stopped. No, she couldn’t do that to Will. Dammit.
She lowered to the ground, creeping along. She didn’t quite crawl. No, she hated the dirt, and Chastity wasn’t going to lower herself to her knees. She could feel the door knob to the isolation room behind her, and she bit her lips. There was no way she could get in there without being heard. She clenched her fists, preparing herself. Then a stroke of fate happened.
“I’m going to pop out for some coffee. You’re alright?” It was Holkend.
“Yeah, sure,” the other guard answered cheerfully.
There was a click of the door, and it shut. Only one to go. Easier than she could have hoped. “I know you’re there,” the flashlight flickered on, and Chastity immediately raised her fists to her chin, shifting sideways so there was less of a target. She recognized the guard. Benjamin Gray. Golden curly hair and a bright smile. They had a conflict when she had first arrived.Conflict was nice way of putting it, but Benjamin Gray was kind of nice.
“And what are you going to do about that, Gray?” She asked him.
“Nothing,” he raised his hands up. “I like Seren, too, okay? I want her to be okay.”
Well, Chastity didn’t not like Seren. She just liked yogurt more. “How’s she doing?” Chastity asked hesitantly, hand on the door knob. Something in her guts told her to let this one go by, and truth be told, she was tired of killing.
He frowned. “Writing names on the walls. So many names.” He strode over to the door. “You have five minutes.”
“Got it,” she nodded sharply. She paused at the doorway, twisting the knob. “Thanks.” She looked back at him. He didn’t reply though, and so she stepped in. Her eyelids fluttered as she struggled to get used to the dim lighting, but before she could, something pinned her up against the door. Chastity reacted instantly, twisting out of the weakened grip, but her hair was pulled roughly from her scalp. It took everything in her not to shriek as she elbowed behind her sharply, and she heard a groan as she was released.
“St- stay aw -” The girl began to wheeze out before her eyes widened in recognition. “Chastity?”
“Seren,” Chastity’s eyes swept over the blonde. Her eyes were unnaturally bright, and her limbs were too thin, black-blue bruises coloring her knees. She didn’t look like the sunshine anymore. “What happened?”
“I’ll tell you for a cigarette,” Seren offered with a weak smile.
“I’ll give you something better in exchange,” Chastity told her. “After you tell me.” It wasn’t an offer that would be refused considering it must have been days since Seren had seen anyone. From where she stood, Chastity could glimpse names scratched into the wall. Seren’s, Frankie’s, names she didn’t recognize, names she did and even her own.
“I couldn’t do it,” Seren said, running a hand down her straggly pale hair. “Everyone watching me. I don’t know what got into me. I’m not… not a terrible person. I just needed something. And a guard got too close. Got too close. Too close.” She was shaking, her words coming out faster and faster. Chastity didn’t know why the hell they thought this would help her when it was only breaking a broken girl.
“Seren,” she said her name, gripping her shoulders and shaking them. “Don’t lose yourself. Okay? Just don’t.”
“I’m okay,” she let out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I’m okay.”
“You should be in rehab,” Chastity leaned against the wall.
“When has the system ever been fucking fair?” She asked, a bitter laugh tearing out from her throat. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Chas.”
“I think you’re going to die soon,” Chastity told her plainly. “But I still hope you don’t. When are you out?”
“I… I don’t know.” She frowned. “What day is it?”
“Tuesday. Visitation day is tomorrow.”
“Yes,” she nodded. “I get out tomorrow.” She shot Chastity a hopeful look. “You said you got something for me?” She smiled, and it was like she was Seren Jones when she first entered prison, warm and determined. They had all watched her slowly shatter.
“You didn’t tell me what happened.”
Seren looked away. “I kicked him. I kicked him and kicked him andkickedhimandkickedhim.” Her words slurred together, and her eyes welled up in tears. “And he was crying. I was crying. And he was talking about his wife. About his kids. And I kicked him until they took me away.” She shook her head. “I need something. I need to feel.” She frowned. “No, I need to not feel. I’m feeling too much.”
“Well, this won’t help,” Chastity gave her the flowerbud crown. It hadn’t wilted over the night, and it was still beautiful.
Seren took it in her hands, eyes travelling over them. She swore again, kicking the bed hard. “Fuck him. I love him but fuck him.” Her hands trembled as she stared down at the flowers in her hands. “Why can’t he just leave me? He’s the only reason I’m still fucking holding on, and I don’t want to hold on.”
“Boys are stupid,” Chastity didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t good at this.
“Yeah,” Seren said softly. “Stupid.” She shook her head. “What do I even do with this?”
Sentimentality. It was stupid, but they were both stupid for falling in love. Seren was stupid for pretending she didn’t know he loved her like that, and Frankie was stupid to give so much up to work as a guard who did kitchen duty because he loved a girl who was going to die. She took the crown from Seren and placed it on her head. “This, of course.”
Seren was quiet, touching the crown on her head softly. She didn’t say anything, only moving across the room to sit on her bed and stare at the names scratched onto the wall. Chastity left the room.
–
Will walked her to her cell and didn’t ask. She appreciated that. She didn’t think she could deal with it, not when Seren’s words were pounding in her mind, throbbing with ice and fire. He offered her a frank grin before he turned to leave, eyes lingering on the pretty brunette swamped in sheets with a book on her lap.
“Will,” she said suddenly.
“Yeah?”
“How’s Leander?” She held her breath, awaiting the answer.
A breath shuddered out. He looked at his hands and then fiercely met her gaze. “Fucking heartbroken, Chaz,” he answered. “His heart is fucking broken, and he’s fucking broken. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fix him.” His eyes were wild, jaw clenched. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“No,” Chastity said quietly.
Will didn’t say anything else, only leaving to go. Leander was her friend. She didn’t want what happened to happen. She warned them against it. It had been too late though. She felt bad, yes. That didn’t matter though. What mattered was she would break Will before he could break Emrys.
chaste euphemisms 